Set Primary menu by going to Appearance > Menus

How I Lost 77 Lbs and Gained Back 40

When I was first diagnosed with Fibromyalgia I was not able to do much, I had a been 80% bedridden for two months.  On a good day, I was able to take a shower and hang out on the couch for a few hours.  Most days though taking a shower meant me having to lay back down for a nap after I was done, going to work was not even an option for almost three months.   This lead to me losing the job that I had at the time when I started having the beginning symptoms that led me to my diagnosis.  To read  more about my diagnosis please read my first blog post.

 

I started a new job and moved to a different city to be closer to work.  I was fine during the summer but as soon as fall and winter came around I started to have more frequent flare-ups and it was very rare for me to have a symptom free day.  This led to me having a very hard time to prepare dinner after work and get in exercise even if I had access to a free gym in the apartments I lived in.  We would eat some sort of fast food almost every night because I just didn’t have the energy to make anything and that was when the weight gain really started.  I ended up having my position “eliminated” as a way to get rid of me without saying it was because of my disability.  This made it so I had to move home with my parents because I was barely making ends meet at the time.

 

Once I found a new job with a great company I decided that it was time to get my weight under control.  The real eye opener was the picture below from my 27th birthday party, I look at this picture and I get sick to my stomach.  That girl in the picture was suffering and wasn’t happy with herself anymore, no matter how much she tried to ignore it she was gaining weight and it had gotten out of control.  This is why in April of 2015 I decided it was time to join Weight Watchers along with my mother who has always struggled with her weight also.  Stepping on that scale at my first meeting was when reality struck me when I learned that I had gained over 30 lbs in four months time, I knew that I was in the right place and ready to commit myself fully to the process.

 

11077958_10155319778940234_1184870628477989189_n

March 2015 – 27th Birthday

 

 

Starting on the program was easy, I committed myself fully because I knew that I needed to do this for me.  The excess weight wasn’t helping with any of my Fibromyalgia symptoms especially when it came to pain because it was just putting more pressure on my body and making it work harder to support myself.  I found myself loving WW and kicking butt, losing weight at every weigh in and making healthy food decisions.  I was active and able to go on long walks and bike rides, something that I never thought I would be able to do in my life.  We even did a 24-mile bike ride down to Stillwater, Minnesota and I was able to keep up with everyone with no problems.  In total I was able to lose 77 lbs in 11 months, I was within 9 lbs from my goal weight by Easter of 2016.

 

 

12795316_10156472398025234_1732909952324349274_n

 

 

Something pretty bad happened in July 2015 when I decided to surprise my boyfriend with a trip to a casino in Northern Minnesota for his birthday.  We were within 10 minutes from  our destination when someone pulled out from a stop sign and decided to take a left turn in front of us when we had the right away.  I hit into the side of their van going at least 40 miles per hour and ended up totalling my car.  It was thought that I just walked away from the crash with a broken thumb but it does seem that it also caused my Fibromyalgia symptoms to increase and the flare ups to become more frequent.

 

11745373_10155711998575234_5752095340307104632_n

My car after the accident

 

The months after the accident the Fibromyalgia symptoms started to increase and it has become very rare that I have a day where I am 100% completely symptom-free.  This has turned into months and months of extreme pain, fatigue and tension headaches which have made it hard to find the energy to make healthy meals for dinner and to get in the activity that I need to.  When I was still living at home it was great because my mom could still be there to make me some dinner, now that I have moved out I am responsible for preparing the meals and it has been so hard to do that.  We have been ordering out or doing fast food a lot more which is causing me to put the weight back on, no matter how hard I try to make good decisions I always find myself wanting to lean towards unhealthy options.  My sweet tooth that I had cured before has come back and I find myself wanted chocolate, ice cream, cake and pie, anything that is sweet, I have turned to medicating myself with food because when I feel sick I want to eat something I enjoy to make me forget for a few minutes that I am not well.

 

My depression got really bad around April and that added to the fact that I wasn’t making the healthiest decisions, I didn’t even care anymore about myself and what I was doing to my body.  As the pounds starting coming back on the less and less I cared, I just went wild and threw out all my principals.  Yes, there were moments of clarity where I wanted to get back on track and I tried one thing or another, like sugar detoxes and getting back on Weight Watchers multiple times, but those only lasted a few days and I was back to going crazy.  But there was more crazy than clarity and I managed to gain back 40 lbs of the 77 that I had lost.

 

I am in no way proud of myself for what I did but I am done beating myself up over it.  Everyone is human and so many other people have these struggles when it comes to weight, especially those with disability and chronic illnesses that aren’t able to be as active.  On top of suffering from Fibromyalgia, I also have PCOS which adds to the challenge of losing weight and keeping weight off.  There are many challenges to be faced but no one said being healthy and losing weight was easy.  It is so important to keep trying and get back to a healthier lifestyle because in the end health is the number one thing we need and without it we have nothing.  I am so ready to get back to my health and I am so excited to have you along for the ride.  So buckle up and hold on tight because here we go.

12 Comments

  • Amanda | Glitter & Spice August 8, 2016 at 11:09 am

    The fact that you were able to lose the weight in the first place shows that you are committed and, though it will take a while, you’ll be able to take the weight off again. You should be really proud of yourself <3
    XO Amanda | http://www.glitterandspice.com

    Reply
  • Elizabeth Ann August 8, 2016 at 12:17 pm

    What an honest post. Thank you for sharing your story. I wish there was something I could say to help with your Fibromyalgia, I am so sorry you are in so much pain. I will say it sounds like you do well with weight loss and eating habits when you have a partner. I would encourage you to find someone who will keep you accountable in a firm yet loving way. You can also try putting reminders up in your home as motivators. It can be things to not do or words of encouragement. All in all, weight lose and a healthy lifestyle is a day to day battle. Don’t worry about tomorrow and just focus on the next decision you need to make. Keep up the fight, you can do it!!!

    Reply
    • apositivejessica August 8, 2016 at 2:29 pm

      Thank you Elizabeth. I have roped my boyfriend into getting back on track with me, now I just need that firm yet loving accountability part. 🙂

      Reply
  • Lauren Bellows August 8, 2016 at 2:33 pm

    Losing 77 pounds is no easy feat and that is something to be so proud of! Healthier is the most important part and I think you’re doing a wonderful job by approaching this with a healthy attitude, first and foremost!

    Reply
    • apositivejessica August 9, 2016 at 10:06 am

      Thank you, sometimes I forget how big of an accomplishment it was.

      Reply
  • Falon August 8, 2016 at 5:36 pm

    I have done the lose weight/gain it back cycle more times than I count and it is so hard and demoralizing sometimes. I finally just got to the point where I quit “dieting” and started making healthy choices. I still eat junk food and I don’t always have great eating days, but I also don’t beat myself up over those days anymore. It’s a tough mental battle to fight, but you’ve already proven you have the strength to do it. My advice is to toss the scale and forget about the numbers and focus on how you feel (but I also know that is easier said than done). Best of luck to you!

    Reply
    • apositivejessica August 9, 2016 at 10:07 am

      I agree with you, dealing with “dieting” and being so tough on yourself can really make you miserable. I am working on making healthier choices and eating healthier and not beating myself up when I decide to have junk food every once in awhile.

      Reply
  • beth Mattila August 10, 2016 at 2:33 pm

    Jessica you are a great person. Thank you for helping me. You helped me when I struggled .

    Reply
    • apositivejessica August 13, 2016 at 8:03 pm

      Mom, thank you so much for always being there to support me when I needed it. If I didn’t have you with me last time around I would have never did as good as I did.

      Reply
  • Amy August 19, 2016 at 10:16 pm

    You have many friends and family to support you. After all, your the one that inspired me to keep on going. You can do this woman!!!! And you got me

    Reply

Leave a Comment